Today, the 8th of april is one year since I first held my son in my arms. I have now landed as a father and you can say that I now went through pregnancy and then some. This little fellow altered my world in so many ways it´s unimaginable and I love every part of it!
Rootless I travelled the world trying to find a place to fit in. I often moved in search, for what I really don´t know. It started of for fun and as an exploration of what university subject or program I would go for. I never got that far. One banana peel lead to another. Mountains, travel and ocean became prime targets. Still roaming around for tranquility I found my way back to Stockholm where I grew up.
As a kid we always moved around. I came to Sweden at the age of five. During my first 5 years here we moved 3 times. Where ever I started to grow roots I soon got thorn up again. That gave me the sensation of keep on going. I never like to stay put and my vagabond life is a mere reaction of my childhood. I got restless legs. I love to explore. To see. To taste. To meet. To feel. Also I think I´m scared of stopping. I´ll never will get cured from that and those are all reasons why and how I learned to love life.
Samson brought me roots
I always liked children. Never got stressed out not having my own and I were content with life no matter how many friends around me that started to build nests and reproduce. Also there was one key factor that didn´t make me think of it, in most cases you need someone to have a child with. And during the last five years when I was more or less ready to have children I never met anyone I could consider having one with. So one day in march a letter dropped into my mailbox and it all changed.
Scared but still calm I instantly felt that this gonna be a ride of a lifetime. A missing link and a life saver. My small family thats still around hardly communicate. My mom been distant all my life and my father stayed in Brasil to pass away 1991. Friends always been my family but now also I got Samson.
I never felt this amount of love for anyone. I can hardly explain how I feel so I won´t. I´ll tribute Samson with this blog post as an open letter of my affection to him. At the same time I like to acknowledge my sincere thankfulness towards his mom Anna that let him into my life. I know she always be a great mom and that makes me at peace.
I love you Samson <3
Your father Feffe